Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Tinder Chronicles, Part 1

I know, I know. Tinder is old news. I'm slow to the boat, mostly because I made fun of the app and never saw myself getting it. But Tuesday night I came home and found my best friend/roommate had gotten Tinder. Watching (read: helping) her swipe was addicting, so I decided to get it for myself. These are the results.

Oh definitely go to the left. Via Huffpost UK
Tuesday: I spend the rest of the night swiping, ending up with four matches and a conversation, partially in Russian. I am excited when a friend--who I know is/was Tinder-obsessed--pops up. Of course, I swipe right while laughing hysterically. I am mostly in shock that I caved and got Tinder (I had always said I would never get it), but to my surprise I'm having fun.

Wednesday: I am officially addicted. I refrain from swiping most of the day, but it's hard and distracting. I learn an important lesson: if you want matches, you need to swipe right. But I am very selective with my right swipes. I get some more matches, have another conversation with a guy, and start to learn some things, including:

  • I apparently find beards a lot more attractive than I originally thought.
  • I am much more picky than I originally thought, too.
  • Based on my matches and my recent actual interests, there is a 4-letter combination/name that is apparently attractive to me/finds me attractive.
  • It is really satisfying to get a match. Surprisingly so.
  • I get really frustrated when people don't have anything in their profiles.
  • Tinder could/would be really useful in trying to get over other people.
  • People aren't really as chatty as I would have thought.
  • Beyonce-style: To the left, to the left. Everybody here in the box to the left.
  • I'm really bad at small talk and coming up with conversation starters (but I really already knew this one).
Wednesday's Tinder adventures also featured my roommate and I swiping and/or matching with the same guys, old flames, and Elders from my mission (of various levels of acquaintance).

Thursday: I wake up to a notification that I have a match. I feel like I could be genuinely interested in this guy (you know, based on the small amount of information in his profile), but I have no idea what to say to him. Because I'm awkward like that. 

I decide to swipe a little bit before working. One of the first guys who pops up in CUTE. I can tell from his picture that he's LDS, but he has absolutely nothing in his profile, and we have no mutual friends. I decide to swipe right, and it's an immediate match.

(Side note: I am a researcher. So if you pop up on my Tinder and I can't tell anything about you, I am going to actually try to find out what I can. If there's absolutely no information to be had, the default is left. So the above right swipe was kind of a rarity. I know that's not how most people use Tinder. But it's what I do. I'm weird.)

Here's where things get interesting. He starts the conversation out with a...well, it isn't how I'd prefer to have someone I don't know start a conversation, but it was flattering. My feminist side was not sure how to feel, because while it was borderline cat-call-y, I also didn't feel degraded or objectified. However, my suspicions are soon confirmed: he's looking for a hookup. (This is why I'm very selective with my right swipes) But he offers very respectfully (!) and respects my choice not to (!). We end up talking a little about Nietzsche and writing. I decide to take a break from swiping at least until later tonight.

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