Things

Sorry I'm being so England nostalgic lately, but wanna know something slightly pathetic? I don't even remember crying because I missed England before. I'm pretty sure it might have happened (ironically, while I was still in England after leaving everyone at the end of the trip) and maybe a bit last summer. But I don't remember it. But anyway, today, I almost did. I was walking home from the HFAC around 6:30 and it was chilly and slightly breezy and the sky was grey and I had had an up-and-down day and was thinking about how a year ago today I was in Edinburgh--perusing the National Portrait Gallery, climbing Calton Hill and the Scott Monument, eating pasties, and listening to music at St. Gile's. And I almost started to cry. Reading back over my journal at the time I had a hard time believing it was real. I am once again having a hard time believing it was real. Sigh. Sorry about the melodrama. Goodness, Rachel, pull yourself together.

Some awesome awesome things happened today, though. Like the 2 random workers at Sugar and Spice who liked my green "shacket" (shirt-jacket, as Sarah dubbed it) and commented on it (one who was a boy). The cute guy in my Stats class who I recognized because I helped him at the desk as he was looking for a creative writing book last night. Actually enjoying my first stats class. World Music Cultures. Getting a new roommate, Natalia, who is from Ukraine. Not having to work. Free pizza. Dance parties to Beyonce in the kitchen while cleaning up after dinner. Speed Scrabble. Watching Sabrina, the "sacred movie" with lovely roommates and others. Waking up in the morning to dreams that seem almost real and make you happy for a moment, even if they make you freak out later.

Goodnight blogosphere. It's bedtime.

One Year

Current Provo Time--12:08 A.M., Tuesday, April 27, 2010.

Current England Time--7:08 A.M., Tuesday, April 27, 2010.

"The sun rose quickly. It was coming up as my plane was flying in, so I watched it rise above the clouds of England. It was just so excited for the day, it couldn't wait to get above the horizon. It was completely up in about a minute. No joke. And then i t was shining so brightly, saying to me, 'Hello! You're in England! Live life, make the most of it and SHINE!' It reminded me of the line from 'Astonishing' from Little Women. I want to be impatient to make a change in the world, unable to wait for greatness."

The above was written at the beginning of my first full day in the UK, almost exactly a year ago to the hour. Today (the 26th, still, in my mind) was the anniversary of me flying out. And then tomorrow-today is the anniversary of my first full day there, like previously mentioned. On the 28th we all met up and started the adventure that was the best two months of my life, that changed me so much for the better. I had no idea what I was in for then. I miss it every day. It's hard to believe that anything in the world can top it. That sounds melodramatic. But it's how I often feel. It's hard to believe that it's been one year. You would think after so much time it would get better, but nope.

Thank you, England. Thank you, John Bennion. Thank you, everyone. You changed my life, and continue to do so. Happy One Year Anniversary.

Back in Provo

I shouldn't still be awake. But it's hard to sleep in an empty apartment. It's my new apartment, just across the hall from my old one. And it's home (past, present, and future) to some of my favorite girls in the entire world but none of them are here right now. And since it's my first night in this apartment and I'm all alone, I feel a bit out of place. I miss my girls. But it's good to be back in Provo. I love this place. It was good to get away though. Especially with the people I did to the places I did. A completely non-stressful weekend full of Disneyland, Kristin Trichler, the Beach, the Sun, and happiness. Not much sleep though, and when I did it was restless and usually in the car. But so it goes.

It was a wonderful weekend. Here are the highlights:

• "Watching for rocks," following the guidance of the road signage
• Seeing Kris and picking her up from the street corner
• Grocery shopping that was somewhat akin to what we did in England
• My soul being a fat man wearing a top hat
• Tiffany being a starving child and eating raw onions
• California Screamin' with Tiff
• Fireworks
• Dancing to the band after the fireworks
• Just being in Disneyland
• Seeing Kris all dressed up in her Disney outfit
• Being made an honorary citizen of Disneyland
• Slipping down the font stairs in the San Diego temple baptistry
• Street market
• Panning for gold at the Mormon Battalion Visitor's Center
• Napping and flying Katie's kite on the beach
• Heather getting all excited about things from her mission
• Hearing Tiff talk about her brother
• Katie dancing to Backstreet Boys

California, Here I Come!

I am done. Done, I tell you! I have now taken my last final. Whoo-hoo! I thought it'd never come. When I'm off work, all I have to do is go home, pack up the rest of my stuff, move it into my new apartment (208, just across the way), and then we're ready!

Life is fabulous my friends.

In less than 24 hours, I will be in the car with these three lovely ladies:

To see this beautiful girl:

And to go to these places:

(via)

(via)

I am excited. The end.

Lessons from JIVE

This past weekend I had the awesome opportunity to go home and see my brother's last Jive show. Jive was my show choir in high school, and although I don't miss high school, there are definitely some times when I miss Jive. And Jive taught me a lot, and continues to teach me a lot. Such as:

• How to be crazy and show emotion
• How to not be scared and/or embarrassed about the above point
  
• How to dance and how to love it
• How to love a group of people who you perhaps aren't the best friends with, but just share this common bond
• How to not be scared/nervous when performing (speaking, teaching, singing, etc.) in front of a big group
• That my brother is even more of a stud than I thought
• How to let go, even when it's hard
• That heartbreak isn't the end of world
• The best numbers are where the group is together...not solos.
• Cake mix can count as a drug. :)
  
• How to pull energy and emotion out of you when you think you have nothing left
• How to run on 4 hours of sleep when you're exerting over-the-top energy all day for an entire week.
• The most important thing is to have fun while doing what you love

Almost nothing can beat interpretive dancing in all black to "My Immortal" before "Bohemian Rhapsody." But I've had several experiences that have. So while there are days I miss Jive (like this weekend, like right now--when I'd much rather be on stage than studying for finals), I am more than content with my life right now. I get to go to Disneyland and San Diego with some best friends in a week. Everything is starting to fall into place for my life in the next little while. I have a great job with people who are just as awesome, and take fabulous classes at one of the best universities. I have lived/currently live/will be living with some AMAZING BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL ladies who teach me how to live life and love it and be more Christ-like every day. And although Jive ended for me years ago, the lessons it taught me have made me who I am today, and it is still teaching me things, still helping me. And I'm still dancing on the stage of life. No matter how cheesy it sounds, it's true.

What I did today

(vi.sualize.us)

• Woke up late
• Speed-walked up the hill while talking to Katelyn while carrying a 20-lb backpack and my saxophone
• Made the most epic farewell card ever out of book dust jackets
• Ate free pizza
• Saw Kim, Amelia, Amanda, Katie, Lori, Katy...even if just briefly
• Utilized every free minute I had to work on my conference paper on how Jane Austen is a Romantic period-wise but not genre-wise
• Had a job review with my boss
• Got a $0.20 raise!!
• Worked more on said paper
• Went to American lit, got a paper I wrote in 2 hours back with a happy grade
• Worked more on said paper
• Worked more at my job
• Changed in the bathroom across from my desk on the 5th floor of the HBLL, where people like to eat and sleep and do homework and it's really kind of awkward BECAUSE IT'S A BATHROOM.
• Worked more on said paper
• Played in my epic band concert. Robin Hood was especially awesome.
• Went home
• Checked the mail
• Opened and read my letter/s (same envelope, 2 letters) from ELDER STERLING JAMES MASON and SISTER JENN MCCALL, two of my favorite people in the world who are in the same district in the Germany Berlin mission and I love them and am happy they know each other and are on missions but I miss them
• Worked like a mad woman on said paper
• Swapped papers with Tana
• Continued revising said paper
• Turned paper in at 11:20ish p.m. (paper was due at 12)
• Freaked out because I forgot to do my last Judaism reading response (also due by 12)
• Read 10 minutes of online Israeli newspapers
• Wrote 300-400 words on said newspapers
• Emailed it off

Mission: Winter Semester 2010 regular classes

Status: Accomplished, with 7 minutes to spare

ALMOST THERE

I feel like I haven't really posted on my blog forever. It's because the past few days have been very busy. And this is kind of like deja vu, because my paper deadline from last post ended up being extended, so now I--once again--have my 10-page paper due tomorrow at midnight. But I'm feeling good about it. :)

A year plus two weeks ago was my first day in Scotland. Seems like so much longer ago than that, and yet just like yesterday (yes, we're being cliche tonight, have to get it all out before my paper) at the same time.

Time is weird.

I miss England.

I wish time was weird enough that time-turners were real.

Any Way the Wind Blows

(vi.sualize.us)

I feel a bit like this girl. She looks like she would usually be happy to be surrounded by books. And Jane Austen. And...yes. But now all the books have fallen off the shelves and she is trapped on a chair, backed into a corner, and can't get down. She has to read and write her way out, and as much as she loves it, she just doesn't feel like doing it right this very minute.

She must have a 10-page paper due at midnight tomorrow or something.

Oh wait. That's me. I bet this picture is actually me. Wearing a blond wig. But you know.

Musings

Here are some things I've been thinking about the past couple days:

• I feel like Nephi/Moroni/all the prophets in the Book of Mormon who thought they were bad writers when I write. Or rather, I feel as inadequate they felt, and hope that between my words and the Spirit I am somewhere near a good writer.
• I love Postmodernism. And Romanticism. And Shakespeare. And Victorian lit. And Modernism. And metaphysical poetry. And I have no idea what I'm going to ever focus on, and my love of literature is both making and ruining my life.
• I can't separate myself from music. No matter how hard I try to, for my own emotional well-being, usually, I can't. It's impossible. I must either avoid pain or fully immerse myself in it. I must always be singing. I need the thrills music brings me. Organ fulfills it to an extent, but I need more, and it hurts a lot when I'm not part of it.
• I really, really, really like my hair. Not so much right now, because it's kind of gross (not very, just kinda) but when it's clean and long and especially after I've blow-dried it and it's all full and looks as thick as it really is.
• I also really like sleep. But not snow in April.
• I'm very grateful I lived where I did freshman year, because if I hadn't lived in 2100 Hinckley Hall, hadn't picked the CompLit freshman academy, I wouldn't know these beautiful people who I love
  
  
  
  (all pictures taken from Facebook, mine and others)

I seriously don't know what I'd do without them.

• I can't wait for the semester to be over because all I can think about is Disneyland and people coming home from missions and starting my mission papers.
  

BUSYBUSYBUSY...NINJA ATTACK!

If you are ever having a day, or feeling stressed out, I have a solution.
Change your Gmail background to...NINJA.

I was looking for some variety in my life the other day, having gotten tired of the mountains I had seen for quite a while, so I found Ninja and switched.
I will NEVER go back to anything else. Every time I open up my Gmail I smile. You will too.

Do it. Do it now. 3, 2, 1, Go.

Yeah, You Make Me Merry, Make Me Very, Very Happy

Ralph Waldo Emerson, you make me happy, as does finishing a paper on you 15 minutes before class.

Christine Guymon, meeting your mother makes me happy.

Elder Gawin, you make me happy, especially the fact that you get home in 56 days.

Robin Hood, playing your soundtrack in band makes me happy.

Michele, speaking German with you makes me happy.

Disneyland, you make me happy because Kris, who makes me happy, is there and you are awesome and I am visiting you in 3 weeks.

Conference, you make me happy just because.

Tests, you make me happy because eventually you will be over, even if I fail you.

Flexibility, I am taking you in the fall and you will rock.

There are many other things that make me happy. These are just a few of the highlights from today. Well, the last one is just me trying to be positive. I'm scared stiff that I won't do well on my two tests this weekend that I need to do well on. And I'm also scared that I won't be able to pass off everything in organ. But it will happen. And I will enjoy these last few weeks and then go to Disneyland with Heather and Katie to see Kris and we will have so much fun and then spring classes will start and I will be living with Katelyn and Jessie and then it will be Memorial Day weekend and MY BEST FRIEND WILL GET HOME FROM HIS MISSION AND I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE HIM AS NOT-A-MISSIONARY AND HE WILL GIVE ME A DRUMMING HUG AND I WILL TACKLE HIM AND WE WILL TALK AND HE'LL BE A REAL PERSON AGAIN AND OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO EXCITED!