Friday, November 12, 2010


 I've realized that there are two halves to my brain, which we shall now explore further in depth.

  1. The I WANT TO MAKE WEIRD NOISES! side. This part of my brain really just wants to make noise and for some reason thinks it'll be as awesome as possible to be as obnoxious as possible. This involves making cat-esque noises, screeches, screams, Lisa-heep imitations, whistles and other quite indescribable caterwaulings. And because I think, in my brain, that these sounds would be really cool and socially acceptable and AWESOME to make, I do. This part of my brain is also very nimble and quick, like the Jack who jumped over the candle stick. But there's a catch.
  2. There is the second half of my brain, the RACHEL THAT IS NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE/TACTFUL side. This side of brain is obviously a stick in the mud and not very fun. But you know, it's helped me get this far in life, so I figure I should keep it around. In fact, it often comes in handy. Unfortunately, it also thinks a lot slower than the I WANT TO MAKE WEIRD NOISES! side of my brain. This provides for interesting situations. 
For a hypothetical, "nothing like this has EVER happened" example, a few roommates and I stand/sit around our apartment, all doing various things. And then Half 1 of my brain (think Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Cat in the Hat, or maybe Kronk's shoulder angel/devil) says, "RACH! It'd be a great idea for you to just kinda make some random, crazy-sounding noise right now. Come on. Really loud. Just do it. Ready . . . GO!" And so I do what it tells me to. Obviously. I mean, it's not like I haven't thought it through--my brain just did think it through. INSERT NOISE HERE. And then . . . About a full minute later . . . Half 2 says, "Rachel, dearest, you shouldn't listen to that first side of your brain, you know. It's crazy, bonkers, round the bend. And people probably won't think your cool if you make noises like that and yell at them all the time, no matter how lovingly. They'll probably just think you're an idiot and laugh at you and love you, but think you're kind of socially inept or something. So . . . don't actually make that noise, okay? Let's just stay sane and full of tact and good social judgement."

Whoops. Too late.

P.S. If you can't tell, it's kind of late at night and I have a very interesting thought process late at night when I try to be funny but don't really succeed. This is also associated with the 1st half of my brain that thinks it's all that and funny and awesome, when really, it's more just obnoxious and kind of dumb. So sorry that I say dumb things sometimes. Even my socially-able side thinks that they're still funny, even if they are dumb too. The end. 


Lisa said...

I sound my barbaric yawp.

Catie said...

Um. I loved and related to this entire post. Sometimes I find myself wanting to make "Myerp" noises.