TOMORROW

is the next step to what I've been waiting for essentially my entire life, but more specifically the past 5ish years, and even more recently the past 4 weeks.

It is the day that I meet with a member of my stake presidency and my mission papers get sent off to Salt Lake.

And for those people who are asking, yes, I'm still going on a mission. Yes, it is still what I need to do and still what I feel is right. Yes, it will be hard, but at the same time I don't know if I've ever been so excited for anything in my entire life. Which is saying a lot, as you probably all know. I just want to know where and when I'm going. This is a call from the Lord and there are people there and then that need the gospel and that I can teach and touch in some way. And I want to know where they are and when they are and I want to go out and meet them.

MISSION MISSION MISSION MISSION MISSION MISSION MISSION!

If only Jessie were here

Information about all this lovely stuff

Ingrid Michaelson. In Salt Lake. And tickets are only $16. Yes please. This is begging for me to take the Tuesday night off work and go have irresponsible-for-a-school-night fun with my roommates.

Tender Mercies

Today has been a day full of little miracles. Each and every day of my life yells answers to prayers at me, screams sunshine, and is so miraculous and splendid. Miracudid. Splendaculous.

Like kind doctors who make phone calls, and clerks who set up interviews. And others who come fix toilets (even if it did take them 3 weeks). And friends who come visit you at work. And ridiculously handsome, sweet, wonderful-beyond-all-reason boys who text you all the day long and who you know would give you a long, tight hug if they could actually see you in person. And awesome families and roommates. And intense classes that you love. Full nights' sleep. Ordering phone new phone chargers. The gospel of Jesus Christ. Knowing that prayer is real and that it works.

I have no idea why I'm so blessed. I don't deserve it. But I am so grateful for it, and can't wait to spread my joy to the world. Starting immediately.

Restless

nobody's hippie

I love my life right now, but I have that twitch. The tingle that comes when you just want to . . . do something different than you've been doing. The travel-the-world itch. Whatever you want to call it. But I have it, and it's making me restless. Part of it is in part due to my mission papers (which we're just not going to talk about right now). Part of it is just that I want to go so many places and do so many things. I can't wait until I'm rich and can just travel around the world with my best friend(s). Hopefully. One day.

I just need to go live in Britain for 6 years. I've already got the "not of unsound mind" and the "good character" part down (I think). And then I can travel to Scandinavia and Eastern Europe and Jerusalem and Africa and Southeast Asia and Australia and Brazil and China and Japan and Peru. Not necessarily in that order. But I just want to go SOMEWHERE, even if it's just across the country. I've never been to Boston in the fall, that would be nice.

In other words, I need a mission call. I'd look into another study abroad, except that I'll (hopefully) be serving the Lord in 4ish months.

I Can Predict The Future

About 12-13 years ago, when I was 8 and in the 3rd grade, I wrote a story about "The Next Big Fad" and I talked about how spray-on clothes would one day be all the rage.

WATCH THIS.

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Deception

Lying appearances: Way to go, Rachel! You have completed your homework for class tomorrow! You can now go home, relax, and have a lovely night! You are SOOOOOOOO AWESOME!

Reality: Sorry, girl, you better sit and hunker down. In one week, you need to watch a movie. No problem. How about read about 300 pages of Shakespeare slash intense literary criticism slash other school reading aka It'll take you about 5 bajillion hours? Manageable. BUT WAIT. And write 4 papers that, although short, need to be really insightful. Oh yeah, and take 3 reading quizzes. And do some other random assignments. And work about 20 hours. And maybe (hopefully PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE) have an interview with the stake. And attempt to have a social life by eating lunches and dinners with your roommates and old friends, and spending time with your boyfriend maybe, and just you try to have fun and get a full night's sleep and yes. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. End of evil laugh.

Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Waterson

If you can't read the comic, which is amazing, it starts with Calvin's teacher saying "Very good work, Calving. You got an 'A'." Celebration ensues, as I'm sure you can see. Then Miss Wormwood says "All right, class, books open! Next chapter!" and Calvin sighs. That's about how I feel. Friends, the real school is here. The past two weeks haven't counted. That stuff's all been easy. Here is where it gets . . . let's say . . . fun. Which it will be. That's just not the only word I'll use to describe it.

Family

FAMILY!

I've been thinking lots about my family today. And just so everyone knows, my family is THE BEST. They are funny. They are awesome. They are crazy and loud and obnoxious in a good way, just like me. Here is a bit about them. And yes, I am the oldest of a VERY large family. But they're great, so please excuse me while I talk about them and overload you with pictures of my genetically-blessed family that ROCKS.

Dad: Hard worker, caring, thinks he's funny (sometimes is), worthy priesthood holder, smart, logical
Mom: Beautiful, loving, most amazing woman, looks this good at 43 when she's had 9 kids (with another on the way), keeps everything running, patient

Mommy

Matt: Stud, brilliantly smart in ways I'm not, swimmer, musician, well-rounded, funny, stubborn, firm in what he knows and believes, best Rook partner, one of my best friends, 18

The Bros

Elizabeth: fashionable, social butterfly, louder than me, gorgeous green eyes, musician, can do a great Becca impersonation, taller than me, great to talk to, 15
Rebecca: peacemaker, quietly funny, kind of an airhead, loves any living thing--animals or people, most giving person I've probably ever met, likes to learn and read, also taller than me, 13

Charlie's Angels

Michael: loudest one yet, Aryan child--only blond hair/blue eyed one, smart, loves to write stories and go to school, 10
Daniel: quiet, REALLY FUNNY, kind of moody but getting better, independent, good at designing things, loves to read, 8

Mike and Danny

Sarah: Danny's stillborn twin who I can't wait to get to know and who we love and miss
Leah: spunky, independent, very smart, smart aleck, funny, adorable, silly, loves to read and is excellent, singer, 6 going on 16.

This picture is Leah to tee

Hannah: cutest little girl ever and knows it, spoiled rotten, well-loved, also sings, trouble-maker, mischievous, likes bacon, 3

Hannah and Mom

 Baby: due in November, Mom wants to be surprised so no one knows what it is except Dad, we're kind of all pulling for a boy though, because as Leah says, we're "sick of girls!"

Now enjoy all these other pictures that I'm just going to dump on you because I love my family.

This is just the best picture because it encapsulates these 4 perfectly

All the sibs

Cuties

All the Girls

Me with 7 of the best people EVER

Ramblings on Current Life

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Well, the first week of school has come and gone. Schedules are settling down and sinking in. The homework is normal, but still enjoyable. It will be interesting to see how overwhelmed I get, and how this actually being good at managing my time thing ends up playing out. I'll need to keep it up in order to see everyone and do everything I want to this semester. My lectures and workload are all EXCEEDINGLY awesome so far though. I'm not sure it's legal to enjoy school this much, but goodness . . . I just come out of my classes wanting to sit around my living room or a hostel, cuddled up in a mixture of couch and pillows and friends, sipping a glass of milk or hot chocolate and having deep discussions, intermingled with laughs. Yeah, sounds about right. Then there are the other enjoyable things that come along with the start of Fall semester. Football games, Divine Comedy, the mountains starting to change colors, seeing old friends and making new ones. I really can't complain about anything right now. I have the best people surrounding me in all aspects of my life. I am happy, feel like I'm where I need to be in life, and like everything is starting to come together the way they should be and in the way I've been waiting years for.

The only hard part about life is trying to juggle it all. Academia and work and social life. Finding nights when Spencer and I don't have class or work or homework or family obligations and can make the drive to see each other. Contacting and actually following through with plans to see other friends. Being home at the same time as all my roommates. Keeping up with my family, and maybe finding time to go visit them. Staying up on homework, while putting the gospel first. Soon I'll have a calling, and also hopefully soon I'll have my mission papers fully in (COME ON STAKE! HINT HINT!--because they definitely read my blog) and have a call and will be preparing to leave to serve the Lord. Not to mention getting enough sleep. It's a overwhelming, delicate balance. Just one thing too much and everything wonderful comes crashing down along with it. But the Lord will help me keep everything in perspective, under control and in check. I've come to far in life and worked too hard to get to where I am to let it all fall apart. That sounds cliche and perhaps like it's coming to early in life as I'm only 21, but it's true--especially since at this moment in time, so much in my future depends on everything that's happening. I'm at a crossroads, but to be honest, it's one I wouldn't mind staying at for a while.

Quietude

via

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So cliche. And yet, it's true. But not because of all the detail and beauty and color. No. It is worth the thousand words that it devours, erases. It is the silence that makes the picture so meaningful. Because, often, the quiet moments mean the most. Those times, the breaks from the cacophony. Tones, no matter how melodious, sometimes get old. In these times, it is required for mouth-utterance to cease, and transfer instead to the eyes, the hands, the soul.

These moments happen anywhere. On your roommate's bed after a stressful night. On a living room couch when you're practically incoherent and couldn't string words together anyway. In a car, in nature. Even over the phone, at times. The only thing required is love, calm, and a permeating silence. Perhaps a little Debussy playing softly in the background. A shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold.

This silence is not awkward--quite the opposite in fact. It comforts, brings joy and peace. And although you are not audibly communicating . . .  something more, something deeper, transpires. All you need to know is that you are with, are helping, are loving someone you care about. And in these silent seconds, you are learning much more about them, their soul, yourself, humanity, than you ever would by speaking.