Yeah, I'm trying to convince myself right now. Convince myself that it's the right thing still, that I shouldn't go back to my original plan. Because no matter how right it feels, and no matter how much sense it makes logistically, spiritually and (usually) emotionally...waiting is still hard when you want something more than anything and for the past 4 years you've been expecting to be practically there at this point in your life and now you have to wait longer. 6 months is a long time. A lot longer than 2 months.
So even though I'm used to waiting, now that it's getting closer, I want to wait less. It's like some inverse exponent thing (I'm tired, okay?). And even though I was excited for Fall, and still am, right now I wish I wasn't going to be here for it. I wish that what I want right now is what Heavenly Father wants and has in store for me. Because waiting even longer right now is feeling like my heart is breaking. I don't want to wait any longer. But I will, if that's what He wants.