Again

I know I just posted a few hours ago. But you know what? I am very impatient. 48 hours from now I will have the envelope in my hand and I will be waiting waiting waiting for just one more hour and then I will open it and know where I'm going. If I can wait that long.

I think this blog post right here that I wrote 7 months ago is probably the one I've linked back to the most. I wrote it the night Tracy got her mission call. When I wanted nothing else but to leave on my mission right then. So much, and yet so little, has changed since then. I definitely feel like staying here at the Y for Fall semester was one of the best choices I've ever made. I am not supposed to be on a mission right now. In January, February, whenever I get called to leave, THAT is when I'm supposed to be in the field. There are people who will be there who have been prepared just for me to share the gospel with them. But there were, and still are, definitely experiences I need to have this fall that I just didn't know about back in March. My new little sibling coming in a month, Spencer, Jen and Kate, my new coworkers this semester, the classes I'm taking right now. It's amazing how suddenly the Lord will reveal to you all these reasons for what you're doing, how only after you act upon your faith you realize why He told you to wait. Contrary to how I was feeling in March, I'm so glad that I'm here, in Provo and at BYU right now.

But one thing hasn't changed. I still hate waiting. Except now it's excited, anxious waiting and not yearning, painful waiting. Well, it's still painful. Just a happy painful. An I-can't-sleep-at-night painful. And instead of 6 months, or 2 even, it's only 2 days. 2 days. 2 day. 2 days.

Okay. I'm not blogging about my mission anymore until it actually happens. Maybe. Maybe. Okay, probably not.